I blink again, but my mind can’t interpret whether my eyelids have opened at all. The pitch black swallows my physique. I am the dark and the darkness is mine. Far in the distance a tiny tinkerbell of light appears amidst deep thick shadows. At first the iridescent mass is a pinhole, a speck imagined then discerned. The speck brightens; the spark forming an orb of untainted beauty. Magnificent. Captivating. Hypnotizing.
It just hangs there attached to anything but a string and floats like a feather, haphazardly shifting directions and cookie cutting the darkness with a harmonizing glow. The orb approaches the ground increasing speed and loses all weightless characteristics.
It stops midair.
Without the slightest bit of hesitation the blazing ball drops, bounces, and rolls towards my feet. The beauty of this mysterious globe draws me in, calling my name.
I can’t stop staring.
My muscles relax, my jaw loosens and all my mind knows is this hazing illumination of trance. I lean in closer wanting nothing more than it’s essence to absorb me; pull me in alive. I lean in closer, staring like a bird at the worm. My desire grows but my observer says no. I stop; my nose not two inches from the glowing pebble.
My observer says stop, take a look around, it’s no good. I shake him away and ignore his unimaginable request.
I glance over my shoulder to where my observer’s demand was conceived. I stare at him. Devious, entranced. A tedious smile slowly widens across my face.
“Shut the fuck up.”
My head tilts as my arms fall, heavily hanging at my sides. I snap back around, staring beauty, passion, and peace right in the face; giving in to the glory.
I stare harder, more intently.
The ball brightens and gains strength. Strength in my ignorance. Strength in my defiance. Strength in the win.
Slowly my orb lifts, spins, shakes.
Power building in one small marble of existence reaching toward the climax. Sparks fly, little balls of fire circling and spinning out of control. The ball climbs up to me and hovers majestically at my nose.
It teases me.
Knowing how much I want to feel its presence, the light comes oh so orgasmicly close. Just grazing the tip of my nose and outlining the features of my face without as much as a tickle.
My eyes close and even though I understand its taunting ways I can’t help but absorb the immaculate energy this tiny, estranged sphere was presenting to me. Just at my grasp, yet knowingly unobtainable. My fingers wiggle and I let out a tiny school girl whimper as the energy drowns me in total body bliss. My eyelids open and for a second my observer shoves reality in my face. I look past the warm glow. My pupils dilate as I focus on the center where the true superbeing creating the mask of pureness is standing within reach.
Darkness, deceit. Violent rage swirling in a red hazed smoky smirk.
Reality fades and as quickly as the truth bitch slapped me in the face it was gone. Once again my desire to have it overtook me in a body slamming trench of deliciousness.
The hypnotizing ball was now in control and beamed an enriching wave; knowing it was mine.
Moving in complete blackness my gaze wouldn’t let go and I followed the ember’s every moment trying to guess what it would do next. Like a child my stare was intent and solid; waiting for the candy to drop so I could pounce. My mind was blank. I watched the white light perform an acrobatic circus with small precise bounds, stopping once again, atoms away from my face. It hovered there for moments in time. Without wasting another second I snapped down and swallowed; succumbing to my craving.
A wave of feel goodness pounded through my body, rhythmically matching the beats thumping through my chest.
My pulse increased.
Rapid and constant my whole body tensed. I stood there in sinister black; my orb of delight was no longer seen and the truth was racking my body, my self.
My eyes rolled back into my head and what I thought was going to bring me my desires plagued my brain and infected my soul. All of my muscles tightened and my jaw fell as a look of shock froze over my face.
A can of worms had been opened and the creature that emerged was Satan’s sister, pale blue and reaching out towards heaven. The snake devoured my soul in one quick swipe as the hellraiser came to life. My body convulsed and as my last breaths escaped from my pursed lips, my observer blanketed me. My knees buckled and collapsed beneath me while the devil crawled out through my every pore; laughing and grinning. My body fell hard to the ground, my arm distorted beneath my belly. My eyes locked while my pupils dilated. My heart slowed and as it’s beat softened to a silence my observer showed me the truth—lying there in my own black cold blood I’ll stay until the crows eat any remaining bits of my soul.